I like dogs. I hate dog owners.

I just stepped in dog crap in front of my own house. I realized that I stepped in dog crap while I was in my car driving down the street. You know, with the heat going full blast. I pulled over as soon as I realized that I had a wad of dog shit stuck to my shoe, and while getting out of my car I accidentally scraped the bottom of my dog-shit-laden shoe on the door opening thus wedging some of the shit underneath the weather stripping. So I just spent about 20 minutes on my hands and knees in 33 degree weather scraping dog shit from under the black rubber weather stripping in my car with Q-tips.

Luckily, no one walked past with a dog while I was out there cleaning the dog poo from my car with Q-tips because I swear to God, I would have beaten the living hell out of anyone walking his or her dog at that moment. I was so livid that I had to clean someone else’s dog’s shit out of my car that had anyone walked by with a dog, I would have grabbed the dog and beaten the owner with his or her own dog.

I’ve since simmered down (slightly) from when I was outside cleaning dog shit out of my car with Q-tips, but after this incident, I now consider dog owners to be in the same annoying, inconsiderate class of idiots as bicyclists. Yeah, I know most dog owners are considerate and responsible, blah, blah, blah. Who cares? You know how all gun owners get blamed whenever some crazy bastard goes on a shooting spree? Or how one bad cop gives police officers all over a bad name? Well, it works the same way with dog owners when one of them doesn't clean up after their dog.

You’re all assholes.