I like dogs. I hate dog owners.

I just stepped in dog crap in front of my own house. I realized that I stepped in dog crap while I was in my car driving down the street. You know, with the heat going full blast. I pulled over as soon as I realized that I had a wad of dog shit stuck to my shoe, and while getting out of my car I accidentally scraped the bottom of my dog-shit-laden shoe on the door opening thus wedging some of the shit underneath the weather stripping. So I just spent about 20 minutes on my hands and knees in 33 degree weather scraping dog shit from under the black rubber weather stripping in my car with Q-tips.

Luckily, no one walked past with a dog while I was out there cleaning the dog poo from my car with Q-tips because I swear to God, I would have beaten the living hell out of anyone walking his or her dog at that moment. I was so livid that I had to clean someone else’s dog’s shit out of my car that had anyone walked by with a dog, I would have grabbed the dog and beaten the owner with his or her own dog.

I’ve since simmered down (slightly) from when I was outside cleaning dog shit out of my car with Q-tips, but after this incident, I now consider dog owners to be in the same annoying, inconsiderate class of idiots as bicyclists. Yeah, I know most dog owners are considerate and responsible, blah, blah, blah. Who cares? You know how all gun owners get blamed whenever some crazy bastard goes on a shooting spree? Or how one bad cop gives police officers all over a bad name? Well, it works the same way with dog owners when one of them doesn't clean up after their dog.

You’re all assholes.

"The Media" Says NHL Winter Classic Was Great - It Wasn't

The NHL Winter Classic was a debacle from start to finish - but somehow all the local media gushed afterwards that it was a success. It's as if the local media was afraid to tell the truth.

The NHL Winter Classic sucked. The weather sucked. The Penguins sucked. NBC's coverage sucked - it was like they had epileptics workin' the cameras - from Mt. Washington !

WPXI putting David Johnson on the "11 on Ice" postgame coverage was quite a treat though - because I love watching people laugh uncomfortably for extended periods of time.

Now look - some of the people I care about most in this world work in the media. I know there's no "media conspiracy" - but it's unbelievable that nobody wanted to tell the truth. IT SUCKED !

Maybe they didn't want to offend Mario - hoping that someday he'll actually grant them an interview. ( Good luck with that !)

Perhaps it was not wanting to start of 2011 with a ANOTHER bummer of a story - like the Pitt football coach quandary. I dunno. It's mind boggling that so many reporters and journalists would not tell the truth - and in that regard - so many of my favorite local media types reminded me of politicians this weekend. They were blowin' smoke up my arse.

Ya know - when the local media is afraid to tell the truth - you get alot more stories about how Pittsburgh is America's Most Liveable city - and not many stories about how Allegheny County has some of the most polluted air in the United States of America.

Look - Pittsburghers are tough - we can handle the truth - we expect the truth. Tell the freakin' story !

Here's a general rule:

If your wife asks you: "Does my ass look fat in these jeans?" - lying is acceptable.

If you're covering news - it's not.