Tad Askew - Time Warped

When Mario Lemieux stepped onto the ice at The CONSOL this afternoon - it was as if for a brief second - I'd been transported back in time.

It was 1984 again - and I was a 16 yr old dude that just got his driver's license. The economy was lookin' up - the Pens drafted Lemieux - and Rick James was still a living superfreak.

The U.S.A. was not at war - Dell has sold it's first computer.

Mayor Luke was acting like a 4 yr old as usual - but in 1984 he actually had an excuse - he was a 4 yr old.

I didn't know what Mommy jeans were - how to properly change a diaper - or that someday almost every dollar I had - and most of my love and attention - would go to two yet to be born smart and kind children.

I hosted keg parties in the woods - smoked out of potatoes - and could have sex in a compact car without throwing out my back. Multiple times - with multiple women - in multiple cars.

Gas was $1.19 a gallon and cigarettes were $1.10 a pack. The 1984 Winter Olympics were held in Sarajevo - where many years later - genocide would replace the Olympic spirit.

Back then if you wanted to play Family Feud you had to go to Hollywood and meet Richard Dawson - now you can play of Facebook.

Oscar Wilde said "No man is rich enough to buy back his past" - now I know what he meant - because kids take up all your damn money. ( However - they are my best and smartest investment. )

So even if 1984 was better in many, MANY ways - and I thank Mario Lemieux for taking me back there - even if just for a second today when he took the ice - I realize yesterday's gone.

I may have less time on Earth remaining than I did in 1984 - less hair - a beer gut -and now I have sex with just one woman - and even though it's multiple times -it's never in a car.

As ridiculous as it might sound based on just the above evidence - I am happier now - My wife and kids might be the death of me ( and they're feverishly working at it ) - but they make me happy.

It's nice to look back - but as I get older - I try to make it more of a "glance" than a "gawk".

"Looking back" is like looking at the ass of the woman in front of you at church:

Keep it brief - Don't get hung up on it - and NEVER let the wife see you smirk when you do it.